Mediatorafter Haunted
by bleeckerstreet12345
Summary: Let’s review, he kisses me, then disappears for a week, he professes his undying love for me, well, sorta, but that was the basic gist of it, kisses me again, and disappears for two weeks, maybe longer. i suck at reviews so i'm copying andpasting. horr
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer: i own nothing.  
  
Why does he keep doing this?  
  
Let's review, he kisses me, then disappears for a week, he professes his undying love for me, well, sorta, but that was the basic gist of it, kisses me again, and disappears for two weeks, maybe longer. I wouldn't know how long he plans to be gone this time seeing as I HAVEN'T HEARD FROM HIM.   
  
Is anyone noticing a pattern?  
  
Ugh. Guys. They're all the same. It doesn't matter which century they're born in. But this time I really don't get it, I told him I loved him. He kissed me. So why is he AWOL? I mean, I'm pretty sure they didn't have that whole 'wait three days before calling' thing in 1850. At least I hope not. Besides, Jesse isn't exactly a mind games kind of guy. The first week he was gone I was worried, really worried. I thought Paul had gone and exorcized him again and I was all set to pay another visit to my friend The Gatekeeper to get him back, but I figured I'd better talk to Father Dom first. Just so that if I got lost up there he would be able to tell my mom what happened. But Father Dom said that Jesse had just been hanging around the rectory looking upset all week. I wasn't worried anymore. I was pissed. I mean, I'm ready to die for the guy. Again. And he can't even be bothered to tell me whether or not he's alive. Well, not alive. You know what I mean, still hanging around.  
  
But I of course have too much pride to go storming into the rectory and letting all hell break loose in his general direction.   
  
Okay fine. I don't. I went looking for him. Several times actually. But the most I got was a small silver glimmer to show me that he'd heard me coming and had flown the coop, so to speak.  
  
But, despite all of this, I realized it was Tuesday, so I had to get ready for my first shifting lesson with Paul. Something that I only agreed to in the first place to keep Jesse safe. But Jesse doesn't know any of this, and I'm not planning on telling him, assuming he ever shows up. There is a small chance he'd thank me, but he'd probably just yell at me for being so stupid.   
  
I sighed walked upstairs to change into some sweats and sneakers. If Paul tried anything I was gonna be prepared this time. I don't care what the media says. Designer shoes are not a girls best friend. Especially if she's walking a couple of miles in them to escape from sexual predators. Yah. Not so fun.  
  
As I was rummaging through my closet this noise started coming from my window seat. It sounded kind of like a dishwasher. I stopped in my tracks. If dishwashers started coming to me for help moving on to the afterlife, I was quitting. No more mediating for Suze. But then I realized it was just Spike purring. Spike very rarely purrs, so I'm not used to it. Actually he only does it when Jesse is aroun- JESSE!  
  
I spun around just in time to see him materialize, and then, seeing me awake, start to dematerialize.   
  
"No! Jesse! Wait a second!" I yelled. He winced and sighed reluctantly but he stayed.  
  
"Susannah why are you awake? It's midnight." he said after a pause. I fiddled with my shoelaces,  
  
"Well, um, I have this...science project, so I'm going to the library." He gave me a look. Hey, give me some credit. It wasn't a complete lie. I was meeting Paul at the library. Like I was getting within five miles of his house.   
  
"Susannah you never leave your room without spending an hour on your hair. Why are you going to the library in sweat pants?" he said doubtfully. He had me there.  
  
"Well I don't really wanna look at all attractive for this particular outing. It hasn't exactly been an asset in the past." I mumbled keeping my eyes on my shoelaces. I could feel his eyes on the back of my head.  
  
"Susannah, where are you going? Why won't you tell me?" I sighed.   
  
"Look Jesse, why do you care anyway? It's not like you've even bothered to show your face for the past two weeks. I mean, man Jesse, I thought Paul had exorcized you again! I was all set to exorcize myself to go get you back and then Father Dom tells me that you've been hanging around the rectory the whole time! Where I go is none of your business." I said. I looked up from my shoe lace, I'd retied it three times now, and met his eyes. Shit. That was a bad idea. And why the hell did I have to tell him I was gonna exorcize myself anyway? Jesse looked liked I'd slapped him. I held his gaze for a second and then I looked away. "Look...." I said, "I'm sorry. It's just that..." I looked at him for another second and felt a lump start to form in my throat. "I've gotta go," I said quickly, I started walking to the window, but then his hand clamped down on my shoulder. I swallowed the tears that were prickling my eyes and turned around to face him.  
  
"What Jesse?" I said, my voice breaking a little. He stared at me for a second, before cupping the side of my face with his hand.  
  
"Querida..." He said softly. I gulped. Nice Suze. He started to say something else, but then thought better of it, and dropped his hand.   
  
"I've really gotta go." I said, my voice breaking obviously this time. He just stared at me with this look on his face like....I don't know what. I was pulling open the window when he spoke again.  
  
"Querida...be careful." I looked at him. His spectral glow was the only light in my room other than the moonlight. Don't cry Suze. Don't cry Suze. I nodded quickly and ducked out of my window. I ran all the way to the library, letting the wind wipe away my tears. 


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I own nothing. All charecters belong to Meg Cabot. Please don't sue me.  
  
I sighed as I walked into the library. The reason I was meeting Paul at midnight was so that I could be sure nobody I knew would be there. I mean, first of all, I don't want to be seen with Paul Slater. Under any circumstances. He's created enough rumors about us all by himself and I didn't want to add to them. The second reason is, I don't really know what this Shifter stuff is all about. I mean, what if it requires me to levitate stuff? I don't exactly want Kelly Prescott coming to school tomorrow and being all "Ohmygod I like, saw Suze in the library with Paul Slater and they were like, making books float." That wouldn't exactly do wonders for my reputation. On the other hand I doubt Kelly Prescott knows what a library is. But you get the point. It wouldn't be good. Anyway. I found Paul in the Children's room reading "Goodnight Moon" in one of the armchairs.  
  
"What're you reading?" I said as I walked into the room.  
  
"If it isn't the lovely Miss Simon" Paul said, looking up. I glared at him.  
  
"I told you. No harassment." I growled. Paul grinned.  
  
"Well technically you said no funny business." I turned around, ready to leave.  
  
"Wait, Suze, Wait will you?" he said getting up and reaching his hand out. " I'm sorry, I was just teasing you. I didn't mean anything." I stared at him for a second. Paul being...decent. Will wonders will never cease?   
  
  
  
We left the Kid's Section and walked over to the history section where there was more room. Paul took some newspaper articles out of the messenger bag he'd been carrying and spread them out on the table.   
  
"See, this guy came up with the kind of exorcisms that I use," he said pointing to one "they're kind of the Kraft Easy Mac equivalent of exorcisms, but they serve their purpose if it's a last minute thing. They're not always as effective though. If your trying to exorcize a really powerful ghost this is one's your guy" he said pointing at another article. I looked up at him. He looked so, well.... hopeful is the only way to describe it.   
  
"I'm not gonna exorcize Jesse if we get in a fight Paul. You can stop trying" I said quietly. He sighed and smiled grimly.  
  
"Yah, I didn't think so. But it was worth a shot." he said. I shook my head. For the next half hour we talked about shifting between worlds and what a joke student council was. We weren't exactly friendly, every so often he'd make some lewd comment or joke at Jesse's expense and I'd start to get up before I remembered out deal. But all in all it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. Meaning no one ended up bleeding or in pain. Except for me of course. But my pain didn't have anything to do with Paul.   
  
I walked back to my house slowly, stopping for coffee along the way so that I could make it up the hill before my house. I crawled in my window and looked around. Jesse was gone. Typical. I kicked off my sneakers and collapsed on my bed. I thought I would fall asleep immediately, I was exhausted, but I couldn't fall asleep. I told myself that I shouldn't drink coffee that late, but it wasn't the coffee. It was the absence of one hot 170-year old rancher. I've had problems sleeping ever since Jesse moved to the rectory. I dunno what it was, I guess I was just used having him reading there on my window seat as I fell asleep. I missed it. I missed how these huge dusty old tomes of books used to crack him up. I missed how he'd try not to laugh so that he wouldn't wake me up. I missed how he'd talk to Spike in Spanish, I missed how he used to laugh at my jokes and tease me about how long it took me to get ready in the morning. I missed how possessive his voice got when I mentioned other guys, how scared he would get when I would go and try to take on vengeful ghosts or exorcize myself. How he bandaged my feet when I wrecked them walking back from Paul's house.   
  
I didn't get much sleep that night 


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: For the last time i OWN NOTHING  
  
"Suze...Suze...SUZE!!!!" I opened my eyes, squinting against the morning sun. I faintly hoped that it might be Jesse calling me. But when my eyes focused it was Doc. "C'mon Suze, hurry up, your gonna be late." he said before walking out. I sighed. It figures. Jesse never calls me Suze. I got dressed quickly and grabbed some Poptarts on my way out hoping I hadn't missed the bus.  
  
I had.   
  
I walked back inside to get my sneakers. I'm not walking a mile to school in my Steve Maddens. I was thinking of just asking my mom if I could stay home from school but somehow I doubted she'd let me. Dopey had left his cell phone on the counter so I grabbed it, I could call Adam on the way to school. The morning fog hadn't cleared yet, I still couldn't see more than ten feet in front of me, but it wasn't that bad. As I walked I dialed Adam's number.   
  
"Hello?" he whispered  
  
"Hey, where are you?" I asked.   
  
"Suze? I'm in English. Where YOUR supposed to be. We've got a test today." I sighed. Right. The test. Of course I'd forgotten all about it. I hate Shifting lessons. And at this point I'm not too fond of Jesse either.  
  
"Okay. English. Right. Nevermind then. Go back to the test. And stop answering your cell phone during class." Adam sighed and hung up.   
  
"What was the test on? Romeo and Juliet?" I muttered to myself. Then I noticed someone walking beside me.   
  
Jesse. Huh. Right on cue.  
  
"Star-struck lovers." He said. "Fall in love but it's impossible to make it work. Due to a misunderstanding with a messenger and a priest they both end up committing suicide because they believe their true love is dead." Isn't he just the little ray of sunshine this morning?   
  
I glanced up at him. He was looking at me with that expression again. Suddenly I snapped.  
  
"Stop it Jesse." I said. He looked at me, confused,  
  
"Stop what Querida?"   
  
"Stop acting like your talking about us. Neither Romeo or Juliet could see ghosts. How do you know it wouldn't have been different if they could? Besides, they gave up too easily." I can't believe I just said that I can't believe I just said that shut up now Suze shut up now. "And..." I said, my voice breaking, "And...stop calling me Querida when you don't mean it." I couldn't look at him. Who was I to criticize Juliet's tactics? At this point I felt like committing suicide myself. Except with my luck I'd be stuck as a ghost. And that would completely ruin my plan of never embarrassing myself in front of Jesse again.   
  
"What makes you think I don't mean it?" He said. "I tell you how I feel, I kiss you twice, and you still don't get it?" I stared at him.  
  
"Yeah. But then you went and disappeared for two weeks. Not exactly a come on." I said. Jesse gave me a "What the fuck?" look.   
  
"A come on?" he said.  
  
"A...never mind." I said impatiently. I didn't want to have to explain the birds and the bees to the guy I love. " The point is, I don't get it. One minute you love me, and then you don't, and then you do again. Make up your mind!" We were at school now, standing in the graveyard. Hey, I didn't want people to see me talking to thin air.   
  
"Jesu Cristo Susannah! Isn't it obvious?" I looked at him and blatantly said,  
  
"No." he swore in Spanish and disappeared. I drew in a shaky breath and slid down his grave stone so that I was leaning against it.   
  
"I'm sorry Jesse. I'm so sorry." I whispered. I put my face in my hands and cried. I cry way too much since I came to California. I never cried in New York. Since I moved here it seems like I can't stop.   
  
Jesse's POV  
  
"A...never mind. The point is, I don't get it. One minute you love me, and then you don't, and then you do again. Make up your mind!" she yelled. I stared at her. She couldn't tell? I've shared a room with her for a year and a half, I've kissed her twice, and she CAN'T TELL???  
  
"Jesu Cristo Susannah!" I said, pacing back and forth, "Isn't it obvious?" I stopped pacing and looked at her.  
  
"No." she said. I couldn't take it. I left. But I was only able to stay away for a few minutes. I materialized back at my grave. She was sitting on the ground leaning against my head stone, her face was in her hands and she was crying.   
  
"I'm sorry Jesse." she whispered. "I'm so sorry." This was torture. I had strict orders from Father Dominic not to get attached, not to get her hopes up. But she was crying and I couldn't just stand there. I knelt down and buried my face in her hair.   
  
"I'm sorry too Querida" I said quietly. Father Dominic had told me not to get her attached. "Make sure she doesn't fall in love with you" he had said. So instead I fell in love with her. I tried to tell myself it was just because she was the first person I had talked to in a hundred and fifty years, that it would go away. But it didn't. I didn't believe in love at first sight before I met her. Now I am, unfortunately, a firm believer. But I never wanted to drag her emotions into this. Look how well love at first sight worked for Romeo and Juliet. 


	4. Chapter 4

Suze's POV  
  
Jesse was holding me. His face was in my hair. He called me Querida. At this point I wasn't completely sure what I was crying about. We sat like that for about five minutes before I could stop crying. I leaned back and looked up at him. Sniffling, I pushed my hair out of my eyes,  
  
"Jesse..." I said, he smiled sadly at me and kissed me. One of those kisses that you feel all the way down to your toes. And then the bell rang. Of course. I was ready to just ignore it and go on kissing him but Jesse broke away and took a deep breath. He looked like he was going to say something but then he thought better of it and sighed.  
  
"Go to class Querida." he said. I blinked and he disappeared.   
  
What the hell was that?   
  
I got through the rest of school in a daze. Cee Cee kept asking me if I was taking any drugs, I told her I was just tired, I was up late last night.   
  
"Suze?" she said seriously, pushing her white hair behind her ears, "are you in a gang or something? You can tell me, really, I'm just worried about you." oh god. Not her too.   
  
"No!" I hissed, "I'm not in gang! I was up late last night because of....stuff" I said giving her a look.   
  
"Oh....ghost stuff?" she whispered.   
  
"Yes Cee Cee ghost stuff." in a way it was kind of a relief to be able to have one of my friends know the truth, up until this point I would always have to come up with the first lie I could think of off the top of my head. Well, except with Jesse. But he was already dead. And I'm just not going to think about him right now. I will think about what Adam is saying about the test. I will think about English Class and Romeo and Juliet and tragic love stories and...shit.   
  
When I got home I ran upstairs, I didn't want to have to deal with the typical "How was your day?" from Andy or my mom. I couldn't exactly tell them. I dumped my bag on my bed and looked around. Jesse was no where to be found. Somehow I wasn't surprised. I shook my head and started doing my homework on my bed. About a half and hour later I heard the doorbell ring and my mom let someone in, I didn't pay much attention until Paul walked into my room.   
  
"Paul! Um...what're you doing here?" I asked quickly jumping off my bed. No way was I giving the guy any ideas. He looked around,  
  
"Nice room. You never really struck me as a pink type of girl." he said.   
  
"Yah well, I didn't have much choice in the matter. What do want?" I asked.  
  
"Ouch Suze. I'm just here to bring you your English homework, and your bag, you left it at the library last night." he said, handing them to me.  
  
"Oh. Well. Thanks."   
  
"No problem, see you around." he turned and walked out the door.  
  
"Yah...see you." I said to his back. This was weird. He wasn't threatening me, he wasn't trying to hit on me, he was acting like he didn't really know me.   
  
If there's a God. Thank you very very much.   
  
Now could you please do something about Jesse?  
  
"Why was he here?" I heard from behind me. I jumped and turned around.  
  
"Jesse! You scared me! How long have you been sitting there?"  
  
"A couple of minutes. Why was Slater here?" he didn't look happy.   
  
"He was just dropping some stuff off." I said vaguely, I grabbed the homework he'd given me and dumped in on my bed.  
  
"You were at the library with him last night weren't you?" he said, his voice had gotten quiet...too quiet. I couldn't think of a lie in time.  
  
"Yes." He looked at me. His eyes were burning.  
  
"Why Susannah? He tried to kill you." I had to strain to hear him now.  
  
"Because....because....because I made a deal with him." I sighed. There, it was out.   
  
"A deal." he said, "What deal?" I sighed.  
  
"I told him that I'd let him teach me about this shifting stuff, if he stayed away from you. No more fights. And definitely no more exorcisms." I said. He looked at me with an expression somewhere between relief and fury.  
  
"So...so your not...your not...going out as you put it?" He asked hesitantly. I almost laughed. Almost.  
  
"No." I said. He exhaled in a long shaky breath and ran his hand through his hair. Then it seemed that the reality of what I was doing set in.  
  
"Wait. Your doing this to protect me?!?" He yelled  
  
"Well, yah Jesse that's the general idea." and maybe it has the teensy weensy perk of making Jesse jealous. Um. I mean. Anyway, I wasn't gonna tell him that part. He walked over to me and grabbed me by the shoulders.   
  
"Susannah I will not allow you to do this just for my sake." He said.  
  
"Jesse you cant' 'not allow' me to do anything. If he exorcized you I wouldn't be able to live with myself okay? It just wouldn't be worth it!" realizing what I had said I tried to back up, "and um...Spike would really miss you." He looked at me. A slow smile started to spread across his face.  
  
"Querida," he said gently, "You don't have to protect me." he called me querida he called me querida he called me querida he called me querida. Anyway, I shook my head.  
  
"No Jesse. I'm doing this." I said stubbornly. He looked at me for a second before saying,  
  
"Fine. But I'm coming with you."   
  
"No Jesse. He might change his mind and exorcize you on the spot. He showed me, he has this last minute exorcism thing." But he wouldn't budge.  
  
"No. I don't care Querida. I'm coming with you."   
  
"What? You think I can't handle Paul by myself?" I asked, indignant.  
  
"No, I believe you are perfectly capable of...." he paused for a second and smiled "'kicking Paul's butt' so to speak. But I don't want to take the chance." I could see I wasn't going to change his mind anytime soon. I sighed.  
  
"Fine." Then Jesse suddenly seemed to realize that we were alone. He moved as if he was going to touch my hair, but then he dropped his hand and mumbled some stuff in Spanish before disappearing. Ugh. Men. 


	5. Chapter 5

First Period History Class. Otherwise known as hell with bad florescent lighting. I hate waking up early. I was in the library, we were supposed to be researching for a history paper, but I didn't really have the energy. Instead I sat in front of my computer Googleing random people.   
  
Jesse de Silva; Is the manager of the imperial irrigation district. Um.... whatever you say Google.   
  
Susannah Simon; It says I'm a chiropodiatrist in Louisiana. No thank you.  
  
Susannah de Silva; apparently I died in Massachusetts in 1765. Man. And I thought Jesse was old.  
  
  
  
"Watcha looking at?" I heard a voice say from behind me. I quickly x-ed out of the Google screen and turned around.  
  
"Um nothing." I said quickly. Paul sat down next to me.  
  
"You know Suze," he said lowering his voice. "If you want to find out about shifting stuff you really shouldn't try Google. It's all bull shit." I shook my head.  
  
"I wasn't looking up shifting stuff." for once I was telling the truth. Paul grinned at me.  
  
"Whatever Suze. Anyway, I just wanted to remind you that' we've got a date tonight ." I glared at him.  
  
"Lesson. Not date. LESSON." I said. He smirked.  
  
"Sorry. Slip of the tongue." He pushed back his chair and walked away. I sighed and ran my hand through my hair. The lesson. Right. I had totally forgotten about that. Great, that just ruined my day.   
  
On the plus side, Jesse was pretty insistent that he come to these things. So he's not going to be able to avoid me. Ha. So there de Silva.   
  
The rest of the school day was pretty standard, other than the ghost of this one girl who showed up in my math class to tell me that I absolutely positively had to tell Father Dom she hadn't cheated on her midterm. Jeez. I hope that if I ever wind up a ghost my unfinished business is no where near that boring. When I got home no one was there, I checked the fridge and found a note saying;  
  
Suzie;  
  
Andy and I have to work late today, dinner is in the fridge, Be good.   
  
Love,  
  
Mom.  
  
I check the fridge, old macaroni and cheese. Oh yum. I order pizza and walk up to my room. Jesse isn't there. Maybe he forgot about the lesson with Paul. At least I hope he did. I throw myself onto my bed and prop myself up on my elbows before pulling out my math textbook. Just as I'm about to start my homework the silver glimmer of someone materializing catches my eye. I look up hopefully,  
  
"Jesse?" But of course it's not, instead a tall guy, about my age, with brown hair and blue eyes stands in front of me.   
  
"Whoa. What.... where am I?" he says looking around. While he checks out my room I look at him, he's pretty hot. Not as hot as Je– Stop it. Your not thinking about him remember? God Suze. What's with you and dead guys anyway? Says a voice in the back of my head. I ignore it and answer his question.  
  
"Your in my room. I'm Suze, I'm a mediator." he stares at me.  
  
"A mediator? What?" I sigh. This part of the job gets old. Fast.  
  
"I help people move on, too...they're next life, or wherever your supposed to go after you die." The guy just stares at me.  
  
"I'm DEAD???" he says.  
  
"Didn't you notice that you were glowing?" he looks at me skeptically.   
  
"No." he said stubbornly. "I cant' be dead. I'm only seventeen. I can't die." I shrug  
  
"Looks like you can." What? Subtlety is not one of my talents. The guy just stares at me some more. I sigh.  
  
"Alright, what's your name?" he looks down at his hands which are, obviously, glowing, and then looks back at me, dazed.  
  
"Matt."   
  
"Okay Matt, do you think there's any particular reason why you haven't moved on?" He shrugs.  
  
"Not that I can think of." Then all of the sudden comprehension dawns on his face.   
  
"Wait. You said you're a mediator. If you can talk to me, and see me, you can bring me back to life. Right?" I shake my head sadly,  
  
"Trust me buddy, if I knew how to bring someone back to life I would have done it a long time ago." Stop it Suze. Stop it Suze. Don't think about him. He shakes his head and starts pacing around the room, then all of the sudden he stops and looks at me. Something in his eyes scares me.   
  
"Do it." he says grabbing my shoulders  
  
"Do what?" I ask, I know what he's talking about but I'm stalling.   
  
"Bring me back to life! I don't care what you have to do! Sell my soul. Sell YOURS for all I care. Just bring me back!" I stare at him.   
  
Jesse! I say inside my head. Jesse get in here now! Matt shakes me by the shoulders,   
  
"Come on!" I shake my head  
  
"I can't" He doesn't seem to hear me. He just smirks.  
  
"Can't or won't?" he says pulling me closer, "I'm too young to die alright? I have my whole life to live. And your not gonna take that from me." I try to pull away but this guy is strong,  
  
"I didn't take your life away you jackass, the person who murdered you did." This little piece of information makes no impact on him whatsoever. He just pins my arms to my sides and starts pushing me toward the window.  
  
"Come on" he says, "your coming with me" See? I try Father Dom's method of peaceful mediation and look what happens.   
  
"Get...off...me..." I say struggling, he's got a grip like iron though and I can't move. That's when I hear a voice behind us,  
  
"Get your hands off her." I look up and grin.  
  
"Jesse! It's about time!" Matt ignores him though. Jesse walks over and pulls him off me,  
  
"I told you not to touch her." he growls as he pushes Matt across the room. Aw. My knight in shining erm...eighteenth century clothing. Matt's eyes widen and he puts up his hands in defeat.  
  
"Alright, Alright." Matt dematerializes. I sigh.   
  
"So much for Father Dom's method." I say. Jesse is looking at my arm, I look down and see where Matt's fingers left bruises. He looks up at me,  
  
"Are you alright Susannah?" I nod and look away, there's a silence before I say,  
  
"I've gotta do my homework before the lesson." Jesse nods.  
  
"If I'm not here call me before you leave." he says. I nod, not meeting his eyes.  
  
"Querida," he says, ducking his head so that he can see my face, "promise me." I roll my eyes but I promise. A promise that I have absolutely no intention of keeping. If he gets himself exorcized again I don't want to have helped him there.   
  
"Good." He says. I turn away expecting him to disappear but instead he walks over to the window seat and starts reading. 


	6. Chapter 6

Princess Roxanne-Thank you. You made my day.  
  
A/N-okay. chapter contains alot of fluff,but i just watched Titanic, so i have an excuse.   
  
Do you have any idea how distracting it is to have an, albeit dead, but still eighteenth century equivalent of Brad Pitt sitting on your windowsill and staring out at the bay? So distracting that I was so caught up in my day dreams that I didn't hear the pizza guy ringing the doorbell. Jesse, to my embarrassment, had to call my name several times before walking over and touching my shoulder to get my attention. I ate my pizza quickly and then went upstairs and changed.  
  
"Are you leaving?" Jesse asked from the window seat.  
  
"No. I'm just changing." I say innocently. He goes back to reading and I go downstairs and turn on the TV to looney tunes. I turn the volume up fairly loud and then sneak quietly out the front door. This is new for me. I've never had to sneak out my front door, usually it's my window.   
  
Obviously I overestimated my ability to sneak out of the house. I was only halfway to the library when Jesse showed up. And he was very, very mad.  
  
"Susannah! What do you think you are doing?" he yelled.  
  
"Um....going for a midnight stroll?" I said walking faster. He stepped in front of me to stop me.  
  
"I told you to tell me when you left! I don't want you alone with him!" He held onto my shoulders to keep me from stepping around him.  
  
"Why not Jesse?"   
  
"He tried to kill you Querida. I don't want you to get hurt." Normally when Jesse expresses any affection whatsoever towards me I lose the ability to think for a couple of minutes. But this time I was just plain pissed.  
  
"No. Don't 'Querida' me Jesse. As far as I can tell Paul isn't the one who's hurting me right now. That job is reserved for you." Jesse looked confused.  
  
"What? Susannah I would never hurt y-" I didn't let him finish.  
  
" I'm not talking physically." His face seemed to shut down but I couldn't seem to stop talking. "You've kissed me three times now, but you keep avoiding me afterwards, do you like me at all? Even a little bit? Or is this just fun for you?" At this point he was sitting on the curb with his head in his hands. I sat down next to him.   
  
"Querida...you and I both know this can never work. I'm dead. Your alive. What would you tell your mother and step father? Your friends? It's impossible." he paused for a second and took a deep breath, "Father Dominic has suggested I leave for awhile, he thinks that it will be easier to for you to move on if I'm not here." I stare at him. It feels like I've been punched in the stomach.  
  
No. No. No. No. No. Is all I can think. I don't realize I've said it out loud until Jesse rubs his eyes and says,  
  
"I'm sorry Susannah." He looks miserable. I'm not really sure why considering I'm the one who's heart was just run over by a Mac truck and then thrown in liquid nitrogen. Twice.   
  
"Is this some kind of sick and twisted attempt at a joke?" I say weakly, "Because if it is you really suck." He shakes his head.  
  
"When are you leaving?" He glances up at me for a split second and says,  
  
"Tomorrow." I stand up quickly. That's why he's been acting so weird. He's been planning on just packing up and going. I look down at him and all of the sudden I can't breath. Then I realize that this might be the last time I ever see him. Ever talk to him.   
  
"I love you Jesse." I said. And then I ran.  
  
Jesse's POV  
  
"Is this some kind of sick and twisted attempt at a joke? Because if it is you really suck." She says. I can't look at her. If I look at her I'll lose my resolve and I won't leave.   
  
"When are you leaving?" I finally turn to look at her. That was a bad idea. I expected her to be mad at me, I expected her to yell and scream. But instead she just looks empty. I feel like I've killed her.   
  
"Tomorrow." I say softly. Susannah stands up, I want to pull her down and tell her I'm sorry, that I'll never leave her, that I love her. But I can't do anything. 'It's for her own good.' is what I'm trying to tell myself. After seeing her face I can no longer stick with that excuse. She is quiet. There's a lump in my throat and I can't seem to say anything.  
  
"I love you Jesse." I hear, and then quiet footsteps behind me.   
  
Nombre de dios. Why did she have to say that? I can't leave now. I jump to my feet and start running in the direction she went. I have to find her. 


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: i keep forgetting to put these in. but i own nothing expect the plot and that ghost, matt, from a couple of chapters again.  
  
Suze's POV  
  
I'm sitting on the edge of the cliff that overlooks the ocean when I hear a voice behind me.  
  
"Thinking of jumping?" I don't turn around.  
  
"Go away Paul." Of course he doesn't, instead he sits down next to me. I sigh and turn towards him,  
  
"What part of go away is so hard to understand?" He shakes his head.  
  
"Have you forgotten our deal? We've got a lesson tonight. And unless you want me to exorcize that dead cowboy you seem to be so in love with a deals a deal."  
  
"He's not a cowboy" I mutter.   
  
"Whatever." Paul says. "Let's go." He gets up but I stay right where I am.  
  
"It doesn't matter anymore." I say. Paul stares at me.  
  
"What? Did I just hear what I thought I heard? Suze Simon doesn't care if I exorcize Jesse? Has Hell frozen over? Is the world coming to an end? Can-"  
  
"Shut up Paul. I get the point." I sigh and begin to explain.  
  
"You don't have a picture of Jesse, so you can't summon him, and it's not as if your gonna get the chance to exorcize him by running into him or something unless you happen to find out where he's leaving for and if you do you better tell me where he is because I'm totally gonna kick his ass for doing this to me and to answer your first question yes I was thinking of jumping but with my luck I'd end up like Jesse and be stuck as a ghost for a hundred and fifty years and just annoy poor Father Dom and I hate to admit it but Father Dom was right and I never should have fallen in love with a ghost but Father Dom was assuming that Jesse would even return my feelings and he thought that it would just be impossible because I would never be able to introduce him to my parents and stuff but he didn't count on it being impossible because Jesse would decide that after kissing me three times it was okay to just take off and leave for who knows where, montana, or Slovakia, or Canada or something and...and..." I was crying at this point but for some reason I couldn't stop talking. This is the first time I've really felt bad for Paul Slater. Even he doesn't deserve to hear me pour my heart out over Jesse. Let me tell you, it isn't pretty.   
  
"And...this just really really sucks." I finished. Paul stared at me. I glanced at him. He looked kind of...dazed.   
  
"Sorry. You didn't need to hear that." He cleared his throat and I was fully convinced he was gonna ask me whether or not I had my period But instead he says,  
  
"We have company." I follow his gaze and see, who else? Jesse.   
  
"I think I'll leave you two alone." He walks past Jesse and claps him on the shoulder. Jesse flinches.   
  
"You really did a number on her man." he says. Then he walks away. Jesse sits down in the spot Paul just vacated. Well. This is embarrassing. I won't look at him.  
  
"How long have you been standing there?" I ask.  
  
"Since he called me a cowboy." he says grimly. I give a half hearted laugh that comes out sounding like something between a snort and a sob.   
  
"I'm not moving to Slovakia." Jesse says quietly.   
  
"Oh. Thanks. That really narrows it down."   
  
"No I mean I'm not..." He turns towards me, "Susannah, Father Dominic was right. You never should have fallen in love with me,"   
  
"Is this supposed to make me feel better?" I ask. Jesse sighs.  
  
"Let me finish." he says. I roll my eyes and turn to him.  
  
"I've had specific warnings from Father Dominic and your father not to fall in love with you, warnings that I've paid absolutely no attention too. I've come up with millions of excuses not to say anything. Believe me, considering our situation there are plenty. And I'm sorry to have given you false hope that day at the graveyard, but at that point I thought that it might, somehow, work out between us." Jesse took a deep breath and kept talking, "But then I remembered. I heard what Dr. Slaski told you. He warned you to stay away from the shadow world, I know you, I know that you won't. But I've got a bad feeling about this, what if something happens to you? What if shifting ends up killing you? Or even something worse. And somehow I don't think that I'm helping matters." I stared at him.  
  
"What? So your just gonna leave? Because of a warning from a senile old guy?" I say, "How do we know he knows what he's talking about? He's in a wheel chair, he has a nurse, for all we know he's on heavy drugs. He probably thinks he's Richard Nixon too." Jesse smiled.   
  
"No Querida. I don't want to risk it." I turned away.  
  
"So this is it then? I'm never going to see you again."  
  
"I didn't say that." he said quietly. I look up at him, but I can't read his expression.  
  
"Please don't leave." I say quietly. He kisses me softly  
  
"I'll come back. I promise." and then he disappears. 


	8. Chapter 8

One Year Later  
  
"Suzie? Come down to dinner!" My mom yells up the stairs.   
  
"I'm working on applications!"I say.  
  
"Oh....well....we'll save you some then." College applications seem to be the only thing that get me out of all family functions. I stare at the essay topic and groan. If you could have dinner with one person, living or dead, who would it be? Technically this should be an easy question for me. I mean, I can have dinner with most dead people. The living are another story, but ghosts? no problem. But how am I supposed to tell them the truth?  
  
If I could have dinner with one person it would be the dead guy I happen to be in love with ,Jesse de Silva. See, he used to haunt my bedroom but then he left "for my own good" and the worst part is he promised to come back, and I know he won't but now he's planted this tiny seed of hope and-  
  
Yah. That would go down really well with the admissions office at NYU.   
  
I haven't seen Jesse in a year. A year and three months actually. Not that I'm keeping track or anything. But since that night on the cliff there's been nothing, nada, zip. But what I'm starting to realize is just because I haven't seen him doesn't mean he isn't there. For example, the first week after he left I always woke up freezing in the morning because Jesse wasn't there to close the windows before the fog came in. But now, at least twice a week I wake up and the windows are closed and usually some book about Plato or Socrates lies discarded on the window seat. This morning was different though. I woke up because Spike was purring, and for a split second I thought I saw him sitting on the edge of my bed looking down at me. Jesse I mean, not Spike. I stared at him for a second, I was afraid to say anything in case he disappeared. But he just reached down to touch my hair, and then he was gone. That's the problem with ghosts. They can disappear. And because of this I'm still trying to figure out whether that was a dream or not  
  
  
  
So there I was doodling all over my paper, pretending to write my admissions essay when someone materialized behind me. He walked over and sat on my desk, glancing down at my paper while turning off the radio, which was playing bad Christmas music.  
  
"That's your admission essay? Your name in bubble letters?" he said. I glared at him.  
  
"Don't you have places to be?" I say.  
  
"People to rob?" He asks grinning.  
  
"Shut up Matt." I say, refusing to smile. I'm not encouraging him. "Look, this isn't a good time. I'm in the middle of an essay."   
  
"So I see." he says raising his eyebrows skeptically.   
  
  
  
I should probably back up. Matt is the ghost who threatened my life, soul, you name it, last year. After Jesse showed up, he went to Paul, who apparently wasn't much help so he came back to me and apologized. He's been hanging around ever since. I can't figure out what's keeping him here and I don't think he has anymore of an idea than I do. He told me he died in a car accident, and as far as he knows he doesn't have any unfinished business. I mean, he had a message for his little sister, but I gave it to her and he's still here. So basically I'm stuck with him. I don't have the heart to exorcize him or anything, I mean, it's not like he's threatening anyone's life, and to tell you the truth he's kind of grown on me.  
  
Matt waved a hand in front of my face, forcing me back into reality.  
  
"Hey," he said, "What's the matter?"   
  
"What do you mean? Nothings the matter." I said keeping my eyes on my paper. I began to color in the 'S' in my name.  
  
"Oh. Okay. So is that why you've been walking around looking like you've been lobotomized all day?" he said.  
  
"Have not."  
  
"Have too."  
  
"Have not"  
  
"Have too."  
  
"Have no-" I sighed. "Okay so maybe I have."   
  
"So are you gonna tell me or am I going to have to read your diary again?" he asked. I swear to god he's worse than my step brothers. I scowled and then sighed again.  
  
"I saw him this morning." I said quietly. Matt didn't have to ask who "him" was. He stopped grinning.  
  
"Suze...look, you might have seen him, I mean, I have no doubt he visits you while your sleeping and stuff, but... just.... don't get your hopes up. Okay?"   
  
"Your optimistic today." I muttered. He shook his head,  
  
"I'm not trying to rain on your parade or anything, but I don't want you to get all excited because you think he's gonna come back. I mean, what if he doesn't?"   
  
"It wasn't a parade Matt. It wasn't even the Santa Claus float. I'm still trying to decide whether or not it was a dream. And if it was a dream I'm really pathetic."  
  
"Why's that?" he said looking at the cover of my Red Hot Chili Peppers CD.  
  
"Because. It's been a year since I last saw him. I shouldn't be able to remember him that well. I should remember exactly what his eyes looked like and how his scar always used to glow when he was angry and how-" all of the sudden I was crying. Matt stared and me and awkwardly patted me on the back.   
  
"Am I that girl?" I said looking up at him suddenly.  
  
"What?" he said, confused.  
  
"You know, that girl who's obsessed with her boyfriend and can't bear to have him out of her sight for more than five minutes. The really clingy one who looks like she's attached to his arm when they go to the movies?" Matt laughs.   
  
"No Suze, your not 'That Girl'" he says. I shake my head.  
  
"Well then I'm what 'That Girl' would be if she was in love with a dead guy." I say. I wipe away my tears with the back of my hand. "God, at this point I should just pull a Wuthering Heights and wander off into a moor or something."  
  
"Um....Suze...there aren't any moors in California." he says. For some reason this sends me into fresh waves of tears.   
  
"I've gotta...um...go...um....do stuff....uh....bye" he says handing me a box of tissues. And then he disappeared. I shake my head. I'll have to remember that. Crying makes Matt leave. Unfortunately it also leaves me feeling like shit. 


	9. Chapter 9

Disclaimer: I own nothing except Matt and the plot. All the other characters belong to Meg Cabot.   
  
It's 2 a.m. and I'm still working on my essay when someone materializes behind me.   
  
"Go away Matt, I'm still in the bubble letter stage." I say before he gets the chance to speak.  
  
"Who's Matt?" I hear behind me. I know that voice. I know that voice. I know that voice. I spin around in my chair.  
  
"Jesse?" I squeak. He starts to say something but before he can I throw my arms around him. I bury my face in his shoulder for a second and his grip on me tightens.   
  
"Jesse...need...air..." I rasp. He grins at me sheepishly and loosens his grip.   
  
"You're a jerk." I say, "I love you but you're still a jerk."   
  
"I had a speech you know." he says in between kissing me, "it was good too." I grin.  
  
"I'm listening."  
  
"I'm an idiot," he says kissing me, "I'm sorry, I can't live without you, I'm an idiot, I love you." I shrug.   
  
"Works for me." I say. Someone knocks over my garbage can behind us. Jesse grip tightens again but for a different reason this time. I turn around and see Matt.  
  
"Sorry! Sorry!" he says raising his hands as if to ward off any impending verbal abuse from my direction, "I tried to disappear quietly but I haven't gotten the hang of this yet." He smiles nervously, "Please don't hurt me." Then looking at Jesse he says.  
  
"Hey, you must be Jesse." Jesse just looks confused.  
  
"Who is this Querida?" Then realization dawns on him. "Didn't he try to kill you?" he says.   
  
"Oh, yah, well, he got over that. Jesse, this is Matt, you obviously remember him, you two sort of met the night you left." I say looking at him. He looks away. "Anyway, Matt can't seem to figure out why he's still here, so he hangs out with me." Jesse looks worried.  
  
"You have some guy you barely know living in your bedroom??" he asks.  
  
"Well it wouldn't be the first time." I say. Jesse smiles. "But no." I say. Suddenly curious, I turn towards Matt,  
  
"Where do you live anyway?"  
  
"Here, there, everywhere." He says shrugging.   
  
"Hooters?" I say wryly.  
  
"Shut up." he says blushing and suddenly becoming intensely interested in my carpet.  
  
"Hooters?" Jesse asks.  
  
"Um...nothing. Just....well....your not going there if I can help it." I say   
  
"Why? Is it like that hallway? Purgatory or something?" he asks. I smile.  
  
"Yes Jesse. It's like purgatory." I say. Matt snorts. Jesse just looks even more confused.  
  
"Why does he live in purgatory?" he asks.   
  
"Many reasons." I say throwing a book at Matt who is trying desperately, and unsuccessfully to choke back laughter.   
  
"So how long has he been here?" Jesse asks pointing toward Matt, who is, by the way, still on the floor with my garbage can.   
  
"I have a name you know." Matt says rubbing the back of his head where my book hit him. Both of us ignore him. I shrug.   
  
"Since you left." I say. Jesse looks confused.  
  
"But that's over a year. Why hasn't he moved on? Doesn't he have any idea why he's still here?"  
  
"Nope." I say. Jesse raises his eyebrows.   
  
"May I point out that you, Mr. De Silva, have been here for 151 years and still don't know why you haven't moved on." I say. Jesse looks at me.  
  
"I have a pretty good idea." He says. I blush and smile. Matt clears his throat.  
  
"Sorry to interrupt, but I am in the room you know." I give him a look. "And now I'm leaving" he says quickly. He gets off the floor and shakes Jesse's hand.  
  
"Nice to finally meet you de Silva." he says. Then when I thinks I can't hear him he mutters to Jesse,  
  
"Hurt her again and I'll kick your ass." Jesse looks at him and nods. Matt disappears. Jesse looks at me,  
  
"You should go to sleep Querida. It's late." I nod and get in bed. He starts walk over to his old spot on the window seat.  
  
"Hey, where do you think your going?" I say. I grab his hand and pull him over to my bed.   
  
"No Querida. That wouldn't be right." he says seriously. I roll my eyes.   
  
"Jesse, nothing going to happen, but it's December, it's unnaturally cold, and our heater is broken, therefore I'm freezing." He smiles and gets under the covers with me.  
  
"So," I say, curling up against him, "What've you done over the past year." He smiles at me and starts to talk. I fall asleep listening to the sound of his voice.  
  
I woke up warm and in Jesse's arms. Life has seriously improved in the last few hours. He smiled when my eyes opened.   
  
"Good morning Querida" he said kissing me softly. I stretched and snuggled against him.  
  
"Why'd you come back?" I say with my eyes closed against his chest.  
  
"I couldn't stay away" he says kissing the top of my head. "Technically I'm just being selfish and possibly sacrificing your health for my happiness." he said sounding worried.   
  
"Well," I say, "Please go on being selfish." I pull back a little and look up at him, "Besides, you lived here for a year and a half before you left, and my health was perfectly fine. And I've been mediating since I was like, six. I never had any problems before. And Matt's always hanging around and I don't seem to be dying. Maybe Dr. Slaski was talking about actually shifting, like, going into that shadow world. Because that makes more sense. I mean, when I exorcized myself I slept for three days afterwards." Jesse stares at me.  
  
"You know," he says, "I really wish I had realized that a year ago." I shake my head.  
  
"You were in 'this can never work out because I'm dead' mode. You still would've left." I say.   
  
"I'm sorry." He says. I nod.  
  
"I know." I say. He kisses me softly, then pulls back.  
  
"So." he says, "About this Matt guy..." I groan.   
  
"I knew this was coming" I say. Jesse looks serious.  
  
"Susannah? Did anything....happen between you two?" I make a face.  
  
"Gross." I say. He laughs.   
  
"I'm serious Susannah. I'm not going to be mad, I just want to know." he says. I shake my head.  
  
"I'm sticking with my first answer buddy." I say, "Matt's like my brother. He teases me, he watches Jackass with me, he reads my diary whenever I won't tell him something, he listens to me pour my heart out over you. Once when I was really upset he let me paint his nails to make me feel better."   
  
"Did it make you feel better?" Jesse asks smiling.  
  
"No. But it was totally worth it too see Dopey's expression when he started seeing floating nail polish around the house." I say, "The guy is like an overgrown puppy. When he figured out that he could touch living people he went around stealing from muggers and giving it all to this one blind guy who sits at the corner of main street singing 'Jingle Bells'. Even in July."  
  
"Sounds like you two have gotten pretty close" Jesse mutters.  
  
"Me and the blind guy?" I ask. Jesse mutters something in Spanish (A/N - can someone explain to me why my spell check thinks that 'Spanish' is 'Spinach'?). I grin.   
  
"What?" he says.  
  
"Your very cute when your jealous."  
  
I stayed in bed with him most of that day. Okay. I know that sounds racy, but seriously it wasn't. We just talked. A lot. I mean, come on, I haven't seen him in a year, I didn't want him out of my sight for a second.  
  
Yes. Okay. At this point I am 'That Girl'. Leave me alone.   
  
A/N- Okay, so genies9 wants me to make Matt have a crush on Suze. It's a good idea but im not sure yet. Review and tell me. Please? 


	10. Chapter 10

Disclaimer: i own Matt and the plot.  
  
A/N-okay. so i'm still not sure what to do with the whole Matt Suze thing, but right now i'm keeping it the way it is. I may change it later. i'm not sure, but if i do make Matt and Suze hook up, or make Matt like Suze, i'm gonna make her end up with Jesse in the end, and i don't want Matt to have to leave or anything so....the point of this is i'm still not sure. Which i should have just said at the beggining. but that would be too easy.   
  
Despite my protests Jesse left a couple of hours later to go visit Father Dominic, promising to be back soon. I sighed and stared at my ceiling. Then I grinned. He was back.  
  
He was BACK.   
  
I rolled out of bed and walked down stairs to grab something to eat. Dopey glanced up from the comics he was reading when I walked in.  
  
"Why are you smiling?" he said.  
  
"Aren't I allowed to be happy once in a while?" I asked.  
  
"No." He muttered. "It's creeping me out." I shook my head. Step brothers. I grabbed a bowl of cereal and took it up to my room, fully prepared to actually write my admissions essay this time, but when I came into my room Matt was already there. He was standing by the window with his hands in his pockets looking out at the ocean.   
  
"Matt?" I said. He jumped. Then seeing it was just me he grinned,  
  
"Sooooooooooooooo," he said. "Jesse is back." I couldn't stop a stupid smile from spreading across my face.  
  
"Suze and Jesse, sitting in a tree," he singsonged, pushing his floppy brown hair out of his eyes. I shook my head.  
  
"Since when are you in second grade?" I asked.  
  
"K I S S I and G" he said tickling me. I grinned and punched his arm.  
  
"It's "N G" not "and G" you moron." I said Matt rubbed the place where I'd punched him looking mildly affronted.   
  
"Same difference." he said. He reached over and pulled the chair out from my desk straddleing it backwards.  
  
"So, where's Romeo gone to?" he asked.   
  
"Oh, he went to see Father Dom, to tell him he's back." I said vaguely. Matt looked fake-shocked.  
  
"He leaves the love of his...afterlife to go visit a priest???" He grimaced.   
  
"What're you doing?" I say laughing.  
  
"Trying to look scandalized. Is it working?"   
  
"It's coming off more as constipated." I say. Matt shakes his head.  
  
"I get no respect." he says.  
  
"Please don't start singing Aretha Franklin." I say. Matt grins then says,  
  
"So he's back for good this time right?" I sigh.  
  
"Yah. I think so. Well, at least I'm pretty sure. Jesse gets these half-baked ideas sometimes that he thinks are for my own good so he does something stupid. I can never really be sure if he's going to stay." I say sadly. Then I look at Matt, "you think you could try and convince him not to leave or anything? Or at least to give me some warning next time?"   
  
"My going rate is fifty bucks an hour." he says, laughing as I punch him in the shoulder.   
  
"You really love him don't you?" he says, suddenly serious. I nod. He gives me a lopsided grin.  
  
"Well invite me to the wedding babe." Then he disappears. 


	11. Chapter 11

Disclaimer: I own Matt and the plot. all the other characters are Meg Cabot's.   
  
A/N- Thank you to all my lovely reviewers, i love you all.sorry this chapter took so long,i was kidnapped by my parents.   
  
I shook my head and started to sit down at my desk. No sooner had I pulled out my application when Doc knocked on my door saying that my mom needed me to come grocery shopping. I rolled my eyes, scribbled a note to Jesse and walked downstairs.  
  
"Mom can't you just take Dopey or something?" I pleaded. My mom shuddered.   
  
"Susie, Brad is a nice boy and everything," she said. I started laughing and covered it up by faking a coughing fit. "But I try to avoid taking him to public places."   
  
Couldn't argue with that.   
  
So that's how I ended up in the soda aisle staring at my half of the list and trying to figure out why we needed a soda called "Sars" (A/N - it exists. It's a Chinese soft drink and it freaks me out. But just for the record, NO, you can not get SARS from drinking Sars.)   
  
  
  
"Need some help?" said a familiar voice. I looked up half expecting to see Matt or something but instead standing in front of me, looking exactly the same as the last time I'd seen him, last June, stood Paul. I stared at him.  
  
"I.....wha....you..." I babbled.   
  
"Come on Suze, full sentences." he said grinning. I swallowed.   
  
" You left." I managed.   
  
Okay. I'm backing up. After Jesse left Paul was, needless to say, thrilled. Now that the threat of Jesse had been removed he started to ask me out again. I think his record was thirty-nine times in one week. Kelly Prescott made sure that I knew that I was completely insane for not leaping at the chance to go out with him, I told her that I didn't date reptiles. She just kind of stood there. I think the word "reptiles" has too many letters for her. I stopped going to shifting lessons because there was no point anymore, Paul wasn't happy about that so he went back to his old routine of stalking me, that is until he went too far and climbed through my window in the middle of night intending to...well....you get it. He assumed that I would be asleep like all other sane people at two in the morning. That was a bad idea on his part. It was 2 years to the day since I'd met Jesse that night so I couldn't sleep. Instead I'd stayed up watching Titanic while Matt tried not to laugh when Leonardo Dicaprio died. The old lady who is supposedly Kate Winslet in like, eighty years or something was throwing the big diamond in the ocean when he showed up. Conversation ensued. Then arguing. Then Matt beat the crap out of him. For a guy who wanted to sell my soul not too long ago he can be pretty protective.   
  
That was a few days after school ended in June. I didn't see Paul after that and I'd heard via Cee Cee that he'd gone back to Seattle. I kinda assumed he'd given up.   
  
Anyway.  
  
"You left." I repeated. Paul smiled and shook his head.  
  
"Suze, would I ever leave you?" he asked. I narrowed my eyes.  
  
"There's always hope." I said. I started to move past him but he stepped in my way.  
  
"Move." I said, my voice icy. He grinned,  
  
"What're you gonna do? Set your new boyfriend on me?" he said. I stopped walking, confused.  
  
"You lost me there." I said. "What new boyfriend?"   
  
"The one who gave me that lovely broken arm not so long ago." he said.  
  
"Matt!?" I said raising my eyebrows, "We're not going out." Paul shook his head.  
  
"He seemed pretty pissed when I showed up in your room." he said.  
  
"That's because you tried to exorcize him instead of mediating him dumbass."   
  
"Oh."   
  
"I don't fall in love with every dead guy that comes my way." I said. Paul laughed.  
  
"So your free then." he said.  
  
"No." I said. Paul groaned.  
  
"Jesse? Come one Suze. Not only is he dead he's not even here. You said it yourself he's left for Slovakia or something." he said. I grinned.  
  
"Not so much." I said. Paul started to say something but then my mom walked up behind me.  
  
"Susie? We've got to go."She said. I started to walk past Paul.  
  
"Aren't you going to introduce me?" he asked. I sighed.   
  
"Mom, Paul, Paul, My mom. Now can we go?" I say. I don't wait for an answer and walk down the aisle as fast as I can.   
  
  
  
"Susannah Simon I don't know what's gotten into you." my mom says as we walk out to the car.   
  
"What'd you mean?" I ask.   
  
"You were so rude to that nice boy, what was his name...Paul?" she says.  
  
"More like Satan's spawn." I mutter.   
  
"Susannah!" she says. "I don't know what I'm going to do with you."   
  
I get that a lot.   
  
When I got home I unloaded the groceries quickly and ran up to my room. Jesse wasn't back yet but Matt was there leaning against the foot of my bed watching TV. I sighed with relief.   
  
"Hey" he said looking up when I came in.  
  
"Hi, listen I need to talk to you before Jesse comes back." I said, closing the door behind me. Matt looked confused but he switched off the TV and sat up straighter.   
  
"What's the matter?" he said sounding worried. He watched me as I paced around the room. "Suze?" he asked. I sat down on the window seat.  
  
"Paul's back."   
  
"WHAT?"   
  
"He's back."  
  
"Shit." Matt said. He stood up and ran a hand through his hair.   
  
"No kidding." I said. He paced back and forth in front of the window seat before sitting down across from me.  
  
"Why can't Jesse know?" he asked. His normally dark blue eyes seemed to have grown at least six shades darker and now looked almost black. I sighed.  
  
"Because Jesse has an even worse track record with Paul than you do." Matt raised his eyebrows. "And I'm afraid if I tell Jesse he'll do something stupid and get himself exorcized."   
  
"Shouldn't Jesse know that he's back? So that he knows to stay out of Paul's way or something?" Matt pointed out. I started to say something and then stopped.  
  
"Oh Christ, I don't know. I just... if I tell Jesse he's back it means I'm gonna have to explain why he left in the first place, and I've been trying really hard to avoid that subject..."  
  
"Suze, he has a right to know." Matt said quietly. I shook my head.   
  
"No. He'd kill him. I mean Paul showed up here with a plan in mind and... he'd kill him." I said. Matt's eyes grew, if possible, darker.  
  
"What's the problem?" he said. I rolled my eyes.   
  
"Come on Matt...please? I don't want a murder on my hands." I said. He sighed.  
  
"Fine. Fine. But I'm not happy about this." he said.  
  
"But you won't tell him?"  
  
"I won't tell him."   
  
"Won't tell what?" Jesse said, materializing next to me. Both of us jumped.  
  
"Won't tell Father Dom that she and Cee Cee skipped first period to go to Dunkin Donuts." Matt said quickly. Jesse raised his eyebrows but all he said was,  
  
"Oh." 


	12. Chapter 12

A/N- Sorry about the ***'s towards the end of the chapter. That stuff was suppossed to be in italics but i'm completly illiterate when it comes to HTML so i can't make italics. Anyway. Happy erm...reading.   
  
I had school the next day. Not a good thing. I had English first period, I got there just in time for class. Just as I slid into my seat the teacher walked in holding a note, "Good morning class, we have a returning student with us today, most of you may remember him..." I groaned and put my head down on my desk. "...please welcome Paul Slater to the Mission Academy."   
  
Oh Christ.  
  
Okay let me explain something about Paul Slater. Yes he's hot. Yes I did kiss him once, but it wasn't my fault, well, at least not completely. The point is, that maniacal little glint in his eye? Not really a turn on. So I can honestly say that when he sat down at the desk in front of mine and whispered "Morning Suze" with his lips brushing my ear, I did get shivers down my spine. But they weren't the good kind.   
  
"So," he said, turning towards me, "Did you miss me?"   
  
"Not in the least." I said, opening my binder and becoming intensely interested in the amount of organization I had put into it over the past year, (none whatsoever).   
  
"Oh come on," he said. "You know you did. Hey, are you free after school today? We can go grab a burger or something."   
  
"No."I said. He groaned.  
  
"C'mon Suze. He's DEAD. He's just one ghost out of hundreds. You and me... we're different. We're meant to be together. Jesse... Jesse is just a ghost that seems to be completely incapable of moving on. It's not as if you could introduce him to your mom. I mean, what would you say? "Hi mom this is the 150 year old rancher who lives in my bedroom and I know you can't see him but really I'm not insane, please don't lock me up."?" he asked. I snorted.  
  
"My parents would be so proud." I laughed. Paul frowned.   
  
"You don't seem very worried." he said.  
  
"I get the same thing from Father Dom. This isn't exactly news." I said. Paul looked at me.  
  
"Are you comparing me to a 60 year old priest?" he asked.  
  
"Yeah." I said before going back to fiddling with my binder.   
  
"So are you free after school?" He said, obviously deciding that he wasn't going to win the previous argument.  
  
"No."  
  
"Suze..."  
  
"No."  
  
"But..."  
  
"No..."  
  
"But..."  
  
"NO." I said. Paul sighed.  
  
"Jesse. Isn't. Coming. Back." He said, emphasizing each word as if I had a hearing disability. I just smiled, and then, realizing he wasn't supposed to know Jesse was back, I tried to look as if he'd wounded me deeply or something. Paul just gave me a weird look and turned around so that his back was too me.   
  
He wasn't in anymore of my classes, thank god. I didn't see him until the end of school. He was leaning against the wall watching me walk out to Adam's car.  
  
"I always win Suze!" he called after me. I just walked faster.   
  
  
  
When I got home Jesse was there, sitting on the window seat reading. I smiled. He looked up when I came in the room.  
  
"Susannah." he said, his whole face lighting up. He walked over to me and kissed me, then pulled away, leaning his forehead against mine. I was grinning like an idiot but I didn't care. "How was your day?" He asked. I stopped grinning.   
  
"It was...fine." I said. Jesse looked worried.   
  
"Querida? What is it?" he asked softly.  
  
"Nothing."I said quickly.   
  
"Your lying." he said.   
  
"Am not."  
  
"Yes you are. When ever your nervous you pull the sleeves of your shirt over your hands or you play with your hair a lot." he said. I stared at him. I knew Jesse loved me but I never knew he payed that much attention to me.   
  
"Oh." was my brilliant response. He pulled me down so I was sitting next to him on the window seat.  
  
"Something's bothering you." he said.  
  
"Um...No." I said, concentrating very hard not to touch my sleeves or my hair. Jesse just looked at me. I smiled weakly, "Look, Jesse, nothings wrong, I mean, really there's absolutely nothing to worry about. Everything's perfectly fine. Really. It's fine." I babbled. Jesse was still staring at me. He had that look, that stupid, infuriating look that makes me want to slap him and kiss him at the same time.  
  
"Jesse...please don't make me tell you. Please..." Now he just looked worried. He opened his mouth to say something, but right on cue, Matt materialized.   
  
"Oh. Sorry, am I interrupting anything?" he said. I shook my head.  
  
"No! No. You weren't." I said a little too quickly. Matt looked confused. Jesse was still staring at me, then all of the sudden realization dawned on his face and his expression changed to slightly murderous. He kissed me quickly, mumbling something about talking to Father Dominic. Then he disappeared.   
  
"Shit." I said. Matt sat down across from me, leaning against the wall.   
  
"What?" he asked.   
  
"Well, obviously he's lying." I said.  
  
"How do you know?"   
  
"He just...is. He's a bad liar." I said. I slid of my bed and walked over to the window, "And I have a pretty good idea where he went."   
  
"Where?" Matt asked.  
  
"Pau..." I started to say, trailing off when I remembered something.   
  
  
  
**"they're kind of the Kraft Easy Mac equivalent of exorcisms, but they serve their purpose if it's a last minute thing."**   
  
  
  
"Suze? Suze? SUSANNAH SIMON!" Matt yelled. He grabbed my shoulders and spun me around, forcing me to look at him. "Christ Suze, you look like you've seen a gho..." he stopped, realizing what he was saying and then started again, "Well you look like your gonna hurl."   
  
"How poetic." I said. He smiled.   
  
  
  
**"If your trying to exorcize a really powerful ghost this is one's your guy" he said pointing at another article.**   
  
  
  
"Oh shit." I muttered. Pulling free of Matt I grabbed my sneakers and stuffed my feet into them. "I gotta go." I said quickly.   
  
"What? Suze, wait..." he said urgently. By this time I was already halfway out the window. He grabbed my arm, "Suze. Hang on a sec. Where're you going?"   
  
"Paul....Jesse, he's gonna....I have to go." I said wrenching my arm out of his grip. He grabbed my hand at the last second.   
  
"No. I'm coming with you."   
  
  
  
**"If it isn't the lovely Miss Simon"**   
  
  
  
"No your not."   
  
"Yes I am."  
  
"No your not. It's too dangerous. Paul's preforming an exorcism for christsake! You can't be there!"   
  
"You cant' go by yourself. How do you know he hasn't gotten stronger?" he said. At this point he looked like he was worried about my sanity as much as my physical health. I guess I looked kind of desperate.  
  
"Matt, look, I don't have time for this. I'll be careful.. I promise. Just....stay here." I jumped off the porch roof, wincing as my feet connected with the ground. Then I ran, Paul's voice echoing in my ears.   
  
  
  
**"Did you miss me?"**   
  
  
  
At Cee Cee's house I stopped and grabbed her extra car key out from under the spare tire, where she kept it incase she ever got locked out. I scribbled a note and left it on her door,  
  
Cee Cee,  
  
Had to borrow your car. Really sorry. Emergency. Jesse in trouble.  
  
Love,  
  
Suze   
  
I peeled out of her driveway, raising some cries of "Learn how to drive lady!" from the neighbors.  
  
  
  
**"Suze, would I ever leave you?"**   
  
  
  
I was almost at his house when the car ran out of gas. I spent about half a second cursing it with all I had before jumping out and breaking into a run again. I didn't realize I was crying until I reached up to brush the hair out of my eyes.   
  
  
  
**"I always win"**  
  
  
  
If anyone else was exorcizing Jesse I wouldn't be half as frantic, because I knew I could always exorcize myself again and bring him back. But this wasn't anyone else. This was Paul. And he told me once that there was a method of exorcism that would make sure the ghost moved on. They wouldn't just be stuck in that hallway. They'd be forced through one of those doors.   
  
  
  
**"I always win"** 


	13. Chapter 13

I was running up his driveway now, banging on the door when Paul answered it.   
  
"Suze?" he said.  
  
"Where's Jesse?" I asked craning my neck to see behind him.   
  
"What?" he said innocently. He stepped outside and closed the door behind him.   
  
"You heard me." I snapped. Instead of answering me he glanced up at the sky.  
  
"Looks like it's gonna rain." he commented.   
  
"Paul. Tell me what you did to him now or I swear I'll..." I never did get to finish my threat.  
  
"Suze did it ever occur to you that I don't know where Jesse is? I mean you're his girlfriend. You should know." he said, still looking at the sky. He shook his head, "look, I know this is hard for you to accept due to your recent joyful reunion, but if Jesse runs off with some dead chick....that's really not my fault." I glared at him, but then I started to feel kind of stupid. Maybe I was wrong. Maybe Jesse really wasn't here.   
  
Oops.   
  
"Fine. Alright. See you in school." I muttered. Paul rolled his eyes, then grinned.  
  
"No goodnight kiss?" he asked.  
  
"Not on your life." I said. Paul sighed.  
  
"Night Suze." he said, pulling the door closed behind him. I started to walk down the driveway wondering what I was going to tell CeeCee about her car. When I was just out of his driveway I stopped.  
  
How did Paul know Jesse was back?   
  
Running back up his driveway, I was about to knock on the door when someone grabbed me around the waist and pulled me backwards into the bushes.   
  
"Matt!?"   
  
"Shhh...Shut up for a second." he said. He watched the door for a couple of seconds before grabbing my arm and pulling me after him, deeper into the bushes.  
  
"Matt...no....he's got Jesse in there..." I said struggling to free myself. He rolled his eyes.  
  
"That much I gathered."   
  
"Mind telling me why we're going the wrong way then?" I asked. Matt spun around and grabbed me by the shoulders.  
  
"Look..... could you just trust me? We're gonna get Jesse out. I promise." he said. Then, without waiting for a response he continued dragging me through the bushes.   
  
"Fine. Where are we going." I asked. He sighed and shook his head, clearing the branches in front of us with one hand.  
  
"What exactly was your plan after you knocked on his door and demanded that he release Jesse?" he asked.   
  
"Um...I hadn't really gotten that far."  
  
"Exactly. You can't just knock on his door and tell him not to exorcize your boyfriend and expect him to listen."   
  
"You have a better idea?" I said doubtfully.  
  
"As a matter a fact. Yeah. I do." he said, parting the bushes to reveal an open basement window in the back of Paul's house. I stared at Matt in awe.   
  
"Your taking my job." I said.  
  
"What?"  
  
"I'M supposed to be the delinquent. Your Robin Hood. Remember?" I said, referring to his kleptomania involving muggers.   
  
"As long as I don't have to wear green tights." he laughed. Hearing voices, I quickly scrambled through the window. Matt materialized next to me. I groaned  
  
"No. Your not coming. It's an EXORCISM. You can't be there." I said. He just shook his head.  
  
"You can't take Paul alone."   
  
"Jesse'll be there." I said.  
  
"Jesse may also be unconscious. Or detained. Or trapped somewhere. Or..." he stopped seeing the expression on my face. I knew what that last "or" meant.   
  
"No. I'm not going to think about that." I said, "I have to go."   
  
"Fine. I'm coming." he said.  
  
"Christ. Fine. I give up." I said walking to the door with Matt right behind me. "You are ridiculously stubborn."   
  
"Look who's talking." he said, smiling as I glared at him. I started to walk up the stairs when suddenly, I stopped, staring at a door on the right. Red light was spilling from under it, but I didn't hear any chanting.   
  
"You think that's the exorcism?" I said to Matt.  
  
"Either that or the Merritt Parkway." he muttered. I glanced up at him. "Bad experience with traffic lights." he said in response to my look. I nodded and ran to the door when I heard chanting. Matt grabbed my arm though.  
  
"No. I'll distract him, you get Jesse." I nodded.  
  
"Hey," I said suddenly, "try not to get yourself killed." He looked down at his hands, which were glowing.  
  
"It's not likely" he said grinning. Then he walked in.   
  
  
  
The room wasn't like those one's where exorcisms in movies take place. Like, those big circular ones, with all the candles, and you know, swastikas or whatever painted all over the walls. It was just like your typical boiler room. Except bigger. A lot bigger. Well he did have a huge house.   
  
I drew in my breath sharply. Jesse was unconscious, tied up, and leaning against a wall, with Paul's Biker minion standing over him. Smiling I saw that Biker Bob had a black eye and an obviously broken nose. The downside what that Jesse's neck looked like it was broken. I knew it wouldn't stay that way, but I felt like sobbing. Paul was SO getting his ass kicked.   
  
Paul. Right. Where was Paul.   
  
Apparently he'd just noticed Matt.   
  
"What the hell are YOU doing here?" he asked, glancing at the biker.  
  
"Enjoying the pleasure of your company." Matt replied, as he slowly walked toward Paul, hands in pockets. He sighed. "Look. I have a deal for you."  
  
"A deal?" Paul said doubtfully.  
  
"Yah. A deal." Matt said, "look, I don't want to be dead okay. Seriously. I mean, I'm seventeen for christsake. I can't DIE." I narrowed my eyes. What was he doing?  
  
"What's your point?" Paul said.  
  
"Well...you want Suze. I can get you Suze. But Suze has something that I want. I'm pretty sure she knows how to bring me back to life, or at least one ghost back to life. I think she was planning on telling Jesse here tonight. Lucky for us, he's very protective. Now, I don't exactly have anything against Jesse in particular, except that while he's around, I'm still dead. My hopes for reincarnation are flat. But if he's gone..."   
  
"Why do you need me?" Paul asked.  
  
"Because the whole reincarnation thing takes two mediators, and Father Dom doesn't do stuff like that. Creeps him out or something. If you do this reincarnation thing, I'll get you Suze." Matt said. I was having trouble breathing. He's acting Suze. He's just acting. It's not real. I heard a moan from across the room. Jesse was starting to wake up. I stepped back to stop myself from running towards him.   
  
"What makes you so sure you can get me Suze?" Paul asked.  
  
"I've lived with her for a year. I know how her mind works. If she doesn't know you performed this exorcism, I can get you Suze." Matt said. He's acting. He's acting. "Do we have a deal?"  
  
"Deal." Paul said, beginning the chanting. Just then Jesse's eyes opened, and landed on me, looking through the crack of the door.  
  
"Querida..." he whispered.   
  
"What did you say?" Paul asked. Then he saw me. "Suze!"   
  
"Shit." Matt muttered. He grabbed two metal pipes behind him and threw one to me. "How're you at baseball?" he asked me, going after the biker and knocking him into the circle of glowing light Paul was creating. I grabbed Jesse under his arms and dragged him out. Paul looked up, and noticed that not only had he succeeded in exorcizing his indentured slave, but Jesse was still there and Matt was about to swing a metal pipe at his head. Needless to say, he ran.   
  
"Not so fast." I muttered going after him.  
  
"Suze, No!" Matt yelled, but it was too late, I was out the door.  
  
"Meet me at the house!" I yelled over my shoulder. I caught up with Paul just as he was getting into his car. He smiled at me.  
  
"Changed your mind?" he asked. I punched him. Anyone who's had their boyfriend exorcized knows how satisfying the sound of cracking nasal cartalidge can be when that cartalidge belongs to the exorcist. Paul moaned and shook his head, "Why can't you love me Suze?"   
  
"You exorcize my boyfriend, not once, but twice! You leave me up in that shadow land place with him and your LITTLE BROTHER, and you completely trash my house. Not exactly the best way to a girl's heart. Just for future reference."   
  
Then I left.   
  
I guess I'd forgotten just how far Paul's house is from...well anything really. I'd only been walking for about ten minutes when I felt someone materialize beside me.   
  
"Hi Jesse." I said softly. I looked up at him. He was looking at the sky. "No stars tonight." I said. He looked at me.  
  
"Why did you do that?" he asked softly. I sighed.  
  
"I love you, you moron." I said. Jesse smiled  
  
"I guess it hasn't sunken in yet." He was quiet for a minute but then he took a deep breath, "Look, you know this can't go anywhere. I mean...it can...but I could move on to...whatever's out there, we could never actually date or get married, I just..."  
  
"Are you breaking up with me again?" I asked.   
  
"No! I just want to be sure you know what you're getting into." he said. I was quiet for a minute, "Susannah?" he said nervously. I smiled.  
  
"I happen to know exactly what I'm getting into." I said kissing him.   
  
"Susannah..." he said quietly, "I don't think I deserve you." Okay. I admit it. I started to panic a little. I thought he was going to tell me he was leaving again. But then he kissed me.   
  
"If Paul ever touches you again..." he said softly.  
  
"He told you? About last year?" I asked wincing.   
  
"Yes. An all to detailed account of his plan." he said. I sighed.  
  
"Sorry. I didn't want you to hear about it like that." I said. He smiled.  
  
"Querida I doubt you wanted me to hear about it at all." he said. I shrugged.  
  
"I just didn't want you to kill him or anything, or go after him and get exorcized." I said. Jesse grimaced.   
  
"I would never kill Paul, I wouldn't want him to be stuck as a ghost. Think of what he would do if he could materialize anywhere."he said.   
  
"Your saying he's to irresponsible for death?" I said. Jesse smiled.  
  
"Exactly." he said. I started to laugh but it turned into a yawn. Jesse took one look at me and scooped me up.   
  
"Whoa..what...hey..."   
  
"Susannah we have at least ten miles to go and you're exhausted."  
  
"Am not." I said stubbornly. Jesse raised his eyebrows. "Okay well only a little. But I am perfectly capable of walking by myself just because I'm tired doesn't mean-"   
  
"Susannah, shut up." he said laughing.   
  
  
  
Who was I to argue? 


End file.
